How Can I Help My Child(ren) Deal with Grief?

In Part 3 of our series on grief, today we will look at ways in which you can help your child(ren) deal with grief.

Talking to children about death must be focused on each individual child’s developmental level and sensitive to the child’s capacity to understand and comprehend the particular situation.

Children will watch and be aware of the reactions of adults around them and how they are dealing with their grief.  Children may respond with shock, regressive behaviors, acting out, or repeatedly asking the same questions over and over in an effort to understand something that they are having difficulty with.

Below are some tips to help children deal with their grief:

• Ask the child to tell their story.  Be a good listener.
• Remember that all children deal with grief differently.
• Acknowledge that grieving is a process, not an event.  It will take time.
• Don’t lie – it doesn’t help the child through the healing process.
• Give the child appropriate information for their understanding level.
• Encourage children to ask questions, and answer them honestly and appropriately.
• Remember a child will need ongoing and long-lasting support through this process.
• Understand and express to the child that grief is complicated.
• Be aware of your own grief.  Family counseling and support may be helpful.
• Help children understand changes in their friends and families’ behavior, and let them know this is not personal or a permanent change in their relationship.
• A child may need some help with options to offer in providing support to those they love.  You might recommend making cards, drawings, help with chores or homework, errands, shopping, cleaning, etc. depending on their age and level of ability.
• A child who is frightened about attending a funeral should not be forced to go.  Children should be allowed to express feelings about their loss and grief in their own way.  This might be in the form of lighting a candle in honor of the deceased loved one, saying a prayer, making a scrapbook, reviewing photographs, or telling a story.

Many resources are available — from books to counselors to community organizations — that can provide guidance. Your efforts will go a long way in helping your child get through this difficult time.

If you need or would like additional support, do not hesitate to contact Celtic Healthcare’s bereavement team.  We will be happy to help you and your child(ren) deal with this difficult time.

Tomorrow, in Part 4, the conclusion of our series on grief, we will discuss how you can help a friend or loved one deal with grief.